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Apr 23. 1 Notes.

Use of Profanity With Age

  • 8 years old: Oh my gosh I said 'shut up!' Mom is going to kill me!
  • 18 years old: WELL FUCK ME OVER SIDEWAYS AND DICK TOSS THAT SHIT TO HELL'S GATE I FORGOT TO PRINT THIS OUT.
niknak79: Rare photo of the North Korean Air Force

niknak79:

Rare photo of the North Korean Air Force

ellliot: essentially

ellliot:

essentially

(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)

bundy-ramirez-dahmer: Famous Last Words: Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine. I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers. Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud. I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist. Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.  Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis. It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death. You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire. No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President. I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China) Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging. Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark. Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government. Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

bundy-ramirez-dahmer:

Famous Last Words:

  • Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose. - Queen Marie Antoinette after she accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner as she went to the guillotine.
  • I can’t sleep. - J. M. Barrie, author of Peter Pan
  • I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Humphrey Bogart
  • I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct. - Dominique Bouhours, famous French grammarian
  • I live! - Roman Emperor, as he was being murdered by his own soldiers.
  • Dammit…Don’t you dare ask God to help me. - Joan Crawford to her housekeeper who began to pray aloud.
  • I am perplexed. Satan Get Out. - Aleister Crowley – famous occultist.
  • Now why did I do that? - General William Erskine, after he jumped from a window in Lisbon, Portugal in 1813.
  •  Hey, fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French Fries’! - James French, a convicted murderer, was sentenced to the electric chair. He shouted these words to members of the press who were to witness his execution
  • Bugger Bognor. - King George V whose physician had suggested that he relax at his seaside palace in Bognor Regis.
  • It’s stopped. - Joseph Henry Green, upon checking his own pulse
  • LSD, 100 micrograms I.M. - Aldous Huxley (Author) to his wife. She obliged and he was injected twice before his death.
  • You have won, O Galilean. - Emperor Julian, having attempted to reverse the official endorsement of Christianity by the Roman Empire.
  • No, you certainly can’t. - John F. Kennedy in reply to Nellie Connally, wife of Governor John Connelly, commenting “You certainly can’t say that the people of Dallas haven’t given you a nice welcome, Mr. President.
  • I feel ill. Call the doctors. - Mao Zedong (Chairman of China)
  • Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here. - Nostradamus
  • Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you’re fooling around! - Carl Panzram, serial killer, shortly before he was executed by hanging.
  • Put out the bloody cigarette!! - Saki, to a fellow officer while in a trench during World War One, for fear the smoke would give away their positions. He was then shot by a German sniper who had heard the remark.
  • Please don’t let me fall. - Mary Surratt, before being hanged for her part in the conspiracy to assassinate President Lincoln. She was the first woman executed by the United States federal government.
  • Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. - Voltaire when asked by a priest to renounce Satan.

(via welcometothe-masquerade)

(Source: pollocondistemper, via non-compos-mentis)

martymikalski:

remember when aang was on trial for a murder kyoshi was accused of and he was like OMG NONE OF MY PAST LIVES WOULD EVER KILL ANYONE WAH WAH WAH and then kyoshi appeared and was like YEAH I KILLED HIM W/E HE WAS A DOUCHE

(Source: roymustache, via avataraang)

jazminthedauntless:

Somebody please give the Ember Island Players an Oscar.

(Source: mako, via thelandbeforegay)

carry-on-my-jingle-butt:

dysphorism:

adamcheleski:

i love how the rest of the world doesn’t realise that australians have to eat vegemite because it gives us immunity to all spider and snake venoms

i know they are all so clueless

are you serious i can never fucking tell when you guys are serious

(via iwillmindfuckyou)

anchored-until-forever: Disney princesses at their finest.

anchored-until-forever:

Disney princesses at their finest.

(via laughingisbetter)

(Source: lilyspring, via pleatedjeans)

broshounen:

roses are red

violets are blue

image

image

(Source: monsterkin, via ohshoootbroooo)

the-absolute-funniest-posts: hektious: ???????????????? It reduces the sound of the glass breaking and keeps the glass pieces from spraying all over the place. Basically, a clean way to break into someone’s house via window. that’s cool but the window is clearly fucking open, why did he break the glass in the first place is the question. My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

hektious:

????????????????

It reduces the sound of the glass breaking and keeps the glass pieces from spraying all over the place. Basically, a clean way to break into someone’s house via window.

that’s cool but the window is clearly fucking open, why did he break the glass in the first place is the question.

My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!

(Source: 4gifs)

the-absolute-funniest-posts: My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!

(Source: stronzilli-blog)

every episode of scooby doo

  • guy: something spooky's happening
  • fred: k we'll come check it out
  • fred: daphne, velma come with me
  • daphne: lol okei
  • shaggy: but scooby and i are terrified of everything why do you always fucking send us off alone
  • velma: shut up you two
  • shaggy and scooby: *run into monster*
  • scooby: RAGGY
  • shaggy: *oblivious to everything*
  • scooy: RAAAAGGGGGY
  • shaggy: zoinks!
  • *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 1*
  • shaggy and scooby: *meet up with fred, velma, and daphne*
  • fred: what happened?
  • shaggy: M-M-MONSTER
  • velma: uh oh
  • monster: boo
  • all: AAAAH
  • *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 2*
  • *they run into one room and come out of another one, i don't fucking know how that's possible*
  • velma: my glasses! i lost my glasses!
  • monster: *picks up velma's glasses and hands them to her*
  • velma: thanks. ....JINKIES!
  • *the monster chases them accompanied by fun music: part 3*
  • monster: whoops i tripped
  • scooby: i captured you
  • *they pull the monster's mask off*
  • fred: oh look it's the suspicious guy we met at the beginning of the episode who was super suspicious and greedy and he wanted money
  • suspicious guy: and i would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids and your dumb dog
  • scooby: ROOBY ROOBY ROO
  • all: *laugh*
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